Summary of the Month – Jan ’10 January 31, 2010

I found this  drawing online. I’d give the artist who made it credit, but I don’t remember who it was. I like the style. Plus, this is kind of how I felt this month, if that makes sense to anyone else.

Summary!

Days Total– 31

Days I worked out – only 5 this month. Not so good….

Days I worked on Art – 6 – also a let down. 😦

Things I accomplished/Things worth mentioning: I had a few dates this month. That was nice, but also a real big eye opener. I’m not as self confident as I once was/thought I was. Not sure how to work on that, but at least I realized it. My little sister turned 20. Crazy! I went to a volunteer meeting and got in the group, it’s definitely more of a summer group, so I look forward to planting trees and doing trail work for the park nearby. Sadly, nothing really happened this month. I did, just today, SKI FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. I rocked. I never fell going down a hill, and I tried three different hills. I did however fall getting off the ski lift, which in my opinion is the most intimidating part of the whole experience. Lots of fun was had tonight. Oh, and I also got my jewelry for my sisters wedding. It’s beautiful!!! Definitely the most beautiful jewelry I own.

Things I would like to accomplish for next month: Let’s just get rid of the normals: second job needed, clean room, workout, work on art, ect., ect. I need to plan for Japan and get the other girls involved. So I have to start an email thread, I don’t know why I’m finding this so very difficult. Thing-A-Day is next month! This is my third year participating in it and I want to actually complete this challenge. I’ve come close, but never actually done something every day. So that is my goal for this month! So many things in life I want to do. So little time.

Dates January 22, 2010

This is a puzzle I did with my dad while he was recovering from surgery. I wish I could have taken a better picture of it, but I had to clear it away for euchre night…..which ended up never happening….but I really like this puzzle. We recently got  a new puzzle to work on that I look forward too.

So life’s been going. My week off was pretty good. It started with me getting my ass into gear and getting to the gym….which really made me realize that I need new tennis shoes. When I was there a personal trainer found me looking at a weight machine oddly and helped me out. Then he managed to schedule me for an absurdly early free personal trainer session.

Long story short, I apparently need to eat 2340 calories to maintain my body weight, so I should be eating 2090 to stay healthy, but lose some body weight. Good news: I only have 15% body fat. Woot! I thought I had more. That puts me in the athletic category, right above lean (which is 10%-13%). So I’m not to far off that mark. Just need to work out a little more consistently and eat a bit more consciencely and I’ll be leaner! Since I was considered athletic the PT really pushed me. My chest muscles were so sore today it hurt to breath. But it was a great workout and I am a little more comfortable around the gym. Needless to say, I turned down having a personal trainer, I cannot afford it.

On another note I have suddenly had very good fortune in meeting guys. I went on a few dates recently, but I didn’t enjoy them as much as I thought I would. There was no reason for me not to have fun and be happy. They were all very nice guys, all cute, all a little bit older, very gentlemenly. I figured out why. I’m not as confident as I was before last year. I used to be so self-assured, so comfortable, that I could just relax and enjoy being on a date. The last few dates I’ve been tense and nervous. A feeling that is …alien to me when it comes to guys. I don’t like it. I don’t like that I’m so guarded, tense, and untrusting. I just need to give it time, I figure and just keep going on dates. It might help if I stop looking so hard for a guy and then being disappointed when the ones I find aren’t perfect.

I don’t know. I’m tired now. First long day of a long week of long days. I’ll post again later this week (which is actually next week, just not on my time frame), and hopefully my thoughts will be a little bit more put together.

Bunny Update January 14, 2010

So it’s my first day off. This work week actually wasn’t bad. I enjoyed it, mostly because I got new shoes that actually support my back and feet So I don’t feel so very beat up at the end of the day.

Today I slept in until…..8 am. Wow, I know. Don’t worry, I had breakfast, let my bunnies run, and then went back to sleep. I also had lunch with a friend I haven’t seen in a very long time, which was nice.  Afterwhich I had a mission to catch my bunnies for a vet exam.

They haven’t been to the vet since they got fixed, so I figured I’d take advantage of working at one. Well, I thought it would be smart to let them get some energy out so they were running all morning. What I didn’t count on was Nala being wise to my plan. She would not go into her cage. It took me a good half an hour to corner her, scruff her, and put her in the carrier. I was worried I’d give her a heart attack.

You’ll be happy to know that both bunnies are alive and healthy. Although neither of them are talking to me right now. Not even with bribes.

So I’m super proud that I actually made it to the gym today. It’s so very hard after a week of not working out. Hopefully I’ll be able to keep up with it. Sorry, there’s no picture today. I’m watching Cloudy, with a Chance of Meatballs. It’s pretty funny.

Thoughts January 9, 2010

Livestrong

For the last two or three days I’ve wanted to write a blog about lots of different thoughts I’ve been having. But I sit here and can’t think of anything…maybe if I just type it’ll come to me.

New Years was pretty good, although it did not feel like New Years. I did kiss four or five people. Yes, I say people because my friend (girl) ambushed me.  Heck, I kissed a guy just because he brought me water. With a lemon! Fancy. hehe, it wasn’t making out, just fun kisses. I think this year is going to be better. I felt opportunity and possiblity and motivation……

…….for a total of about half a day. For some reason I don’t feel very motivated. I should; I had three days to clean my room, organize, work on art…and I pretty much just slept because I feel like I had the energy to even make the effort to read. Sad.

Well, I need to change that. I’ve been trying pretty much non-stop to find a second job, even going back to old jobs I said I’d never got back to.

I’m not sleeping well..haven’t been for awhile. I think I’m stressed even though I don’t think about things that bother me, consciencly. Money is a big one, I need money for Japan, I need money for meds/bunny food/essentials, to save, etc. I want to go out and have fun, but once a week is really all I can do, and I always feel bad when friends say it’s only $10 or $25. That is alot. It adds up. Stop pushing me, I’ll do what I can. I’m not avoiding anyone, it’s not that I don’t want to hang out, I financially cannot do it! Frustrating, let me tell you. I’m really trying to be financially smart. But even that is really not helping. Cause I’m not making enough.

I’m stuck in a dead-end job and it’s rough. I don’t want to be an assistant forever. There is no where for me to move forward in this job. I will be there for another year, maybe, but not much longer. I need to find out what I’m going to do after this year. Vet school for equine, Vet tech (probably not), or Masters – animal behavior.

It would be nice to move to move to the Carolinas for a year or two. It would be nice to visit out west. It would be nice ot have a goal.

I guess money’s the biggest thing. I knew I’d never make a lot of it, that’s okay. But I need to at least survive, and I can’t with this job, not on my own.

I really want to work more on art. To do more with my days. To do more things, see more people, accept more challenges. But how long will my motivation last this time? Will it last til tomorrow.

I need to buy new shoes for work and for the gym….that’s at least $100 right there. Cause I need to buy good shoes. I’m at home right now, 7pm on a Sat nigt because my feet hurt, my head hurts, hell, my whole body hurts. All I want to do is stay in my pjs, work on my art, and stop hurting.

Another reason I want a job, it will force me to be more productive with my time. Instead of wasting days, I will at least make some money.

Okay, I’m done now. I’m watching DejaVu with Denzel Washington in it. I’ve soaked my feet and mom my feed me (one good thing about living at home). On the next commercial break I’m going to go get my inspiration book and add a few more pages. Or maybe I’ll plan some of the Japan trip. I also have a travel journal, maybe I can work on that.

I have things to work for and to look forward to. Sometimes, for whatever reason, I forget, or am overwhelmed with the negative of life. Usually, I just sleep. Then the next time I wake up, I notice something positive.

Things I have been thankful for since Wed:

*my family*snow*postcards*my art magazine that comes in the mail*puppies*my very comfy bed*the fireplace*hot showers*friendship*coffee (that one was important the last few days, so it’s mentioned twice)*nice cats*helpful coworkers*time well spent*a full nights slept, without waking up*the smell of a Christmas tree*time to paint my nails, any color I want*my new makeup*possiblities*Japan trip*

I think that’s enough. Sorry for the long post….if you made it this far, I’m impressed since I didn’t really make this readable. It’s just a train of thought.

Choo-Choo!

End of the Month Summary – December 09 January 3, 2010

Summary

Days Total– 31

Days I worked out – 9 – I have been going to the gym at least twice a week, and for at least an hour at a time; usually two hours. Basically, I rocked. Let’s keep this up!

Days I worked on Art – 12 – This was mostly due to the fact that I made a lot of Christmas gifts this year. It wasn’t really drawing or painting, more crafty. But I set aside time to do it, and it took up my art time, so I’m counting it.

Things I accomplished/Things worth mentioning: I bought my JAPAN TICKET!!!! I am so very excited and completely and totally broke. I’m a little terrified that I’m going to make it to Japan and not have any money, but I’ll deal wih that when I get there. I found out that the word Orangutan means “old man of the woods” in Malaysian.  Definitely thought that was worth mentioning. I went to a Big Bad VooDoo Daddy concert, it’s a really great swing band. I love bands and concerts like that. The concert itself was at The House of Blues, which I had never been to before. I hope to go see Flogging Molly there in a few months. My friend Nikki got engaged and she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I’m so happy for her. I went to a figure drawing workshop through meetup.com. I do not know how I feel about this group yet. I think I am going to a painting workshop soon, we will see. I had Christmas parties gallore, lots of fun. I had a wonderful relaxing Chirstmas. Rockette was adopted, they kept her name and she is doing much better. A new year started. My main New Years Resolution is…..*don’t laugh*….to clean my room. Completely, so I can see the floor, sleep in my bed, and have a clean desk all at the same time. I have a few other ones, but I’ll mention those later. My dad had surgery, and he is doing alright. My friend had breast cancer, she had a double masectamy (sp?) and now she is cancer free.

Things I would like to accomplish for next month: I still need a second job. Keep up the workout schedule. Draw and Paint some more. Start my New Years Resolutions: 1) CLEAN MY ROOM 2) volunteer somewhere 3) stay healthy and happy 4) decide what I’m going to do with my life after the vet hospital (masters degree or whatnot) 5) that’s really all I came up with on the spot….I’m going to be more social, even though it’s freezing outside. I need to be smarter about money and continue looking for another job. I have a feeling that this is going to be a good year. Let’s start it with a good month!