Daily Picture 16 July 21, 2010

7-19-10

Queen Anne’s Lace

This was my aunt’s favorite flower, even though it’s considered a weed. It always makes me think of her. Our yard is full of them.

7-20-10

No Name Desk Mate

I’ve had him for awhile, saw him in a store and decided he needed to come sit with me at my desk. Even though I’ve had him for years he still doesn’t have a name.

We celebrated my sister’s 24th birthday on Monday. It was a nice family dinner outside with chicken on the grill and sweet corn. I had covered a shift at work that day and I really needed a good meal when I got home. My boss witnessed one mistake at work in the morning and then blamed everything else on me that went wrong during the day. Someone didn’t order the bloodwork, my fault, someone didn’t stain the slide, my fault, someone didn’t turn off the compressor, my fault. I wasn’t even in dental today! And there are three other people there….*sigh*

I went over Mike’s yesterday, it was a very nice relaxing afternoon. We went to a really great grocery store and got stuff for dinner (pizza and a salad) and then we stopped at a gelato store for dessert (yum!). While we waited for dinner we sat outside on the porch and I was blowing bubbles. Why is it at a certain age we stop doing that? It’s relaxing. While we ate dinner we watched a few more episodes of Dexter. Then we laid in bed and just talked. It was a good night.

Today, unfortunately, was a failure. I am unmotivated and everything I do seems to go wrong. The pet store I usually go to closed that location and I got a prescription from my doctor, put it in the book I was reading, and promptly gave it back to the library. How stupid am I? I mean, who does that! I went back to the library today and of course they can’t find it, so I hope someone enjoys my medication….I called to get a new one this morning, they didn’t call back until 4:45 this afternoon and they closed at 5, so I couldn’t come pick it up. Grrrr….so now I’m trying to salvage my day by reading and finding something for dinner soon, because I’m  hungry.

Daily Picture – 12 July 9, 2010

7-9-10

Bunny Honey

This is my bunny Nala enjoying some food, although she stopped eating because she was curious about the camera.

I like this picture because if you look at the deer’s face it looks like she’s saying ‘OH!!’, like she’s surprised.  In fact I can’t look at this picture now without it looking like she has her ‘mouth’ open in surprise.

Just fyi, yesterday was definitely one of the worst days in the history of the world ever. But! I got through it. I moped and pouted and slept. Today was better. Not good, but better. In an effort to make me feel better I’m being lame and listing good things from the last 48 hours:

A friendly cockatiel; small friendly kittens; the sound of a kitten purr; a 150lb great dane named Apollo and cleaning his teeth (it was calming, quiet, and he’s got sparkly pearly whites now); cat nap at work; fun clients; coffee; xrays turning out well; getting labwork done and organized; getting a paycheck (with bonus); a hot shower; not getting a major injury; my comfy bed; a good book; homecooked meal (japanese curry, jasmine rice, chicken, onions, and potatoes); air conditioning.

Ha…I was able to think of more bad things that happened and stress-related things then I was good things….but at least I have a nice list of good things. We’ll ignore the bad/stressful things for now and go to bed. Good Night.

Daily Picture – 4 June 24, 2010

6-24-10

O-H-I-O

The ‘I’ broke.  Birthday gift from my dad.

I kind of felt like this today. I girl without an identity. Someone people don’t know, don’t invite to things, don’t remember. It shouldn’t bother me, but it does. Especially at work. My coworkers all hang out outside of work. I’m not invited. No, I don’t want to go downtown and get drunk, but it would be nice to be invited. They have celebrated everyone’s birthday at work so far. Mine came and went, no cake like everyone else got, not even a general ‘happy birthday’. It sucked. I like who I am. But at moments like this, I wish I was more to people, not just ‘that girl behind the camera’.

I got my shoes I’m going to wear for my sister’s wedding. She said I had to get silver. I got sparkly glitter ones because I don’t have any shoes like that. I’m also excited that it’s little heals so I can wear them all day long. Now I just have to go get my dress fitted. Btw, I feel fat. But I blame that on the crappy day.

My seedlings are sprouting. 🙂

Thoughts January 9, 2010

Livestrong

For the last two or three days I’ve wanted to write a blog about lots of different thoughts I’ve been having. But I sit here and can’t think of anything…maybe if I just type it’ll come to me.

New Years was pretty good, although it did not feel like New Years. I did kiss four or five people. Yes, I say people because my friend (girl) ambushed me.  Heck, I kissed a guy just because he brought me water. With a lemon! Fancy. hehe, it wasn’t making out, just fun kisses. I think this year is going to be better. I felt opportunity and possiblity and motivation……

…….for a total of about half a day. For some reason I don’t feel very motivated. I should; I had three days to clean my room, organize, work on art…and I pretty much just slept because I feel like I had the energy to even make the effort to read. Sad.

Well, I need to change that. I’ve been trying pretty much non-stop to find a second job, even going back to old jobs I said I’d never got back to.

I’m not sleeping well..haven’t been for awhile. I think I’m stressed even though I don’t think about things that bother me, consciencly. Money is a big one, I need money for Japan, I need money for meds/bunny food/essentials, to save, etc. I want to go out and have fun, but once a week is really all I can do, and I always feel bad when friends say it’s only $10 or $25. That is alot. It adds up. Stop pushing me, I’ll do what I can. I’m not avoiding anyone, it’s not that I don’t want to hang out, I financially cannot do it! Frustrating, let me tell you. I’m really trying to be financially smart. But even that is really not helping. Cause I’m not making enough.

I’m stuck in a dead-end job and it’s rough. I don’t want to be an assistant forever. There is no where for me to move forward in this job. I will be there for another year, maybe, but not much longer. I need to find out what I’m going to do after this year. Vet school for equine, Vet tech (probably not), or Masters – animal behavior.

It would be nice to move to move to the Carolinas for a year or two. It would be nice to visit out west. It would be nice ot have a goal.

I guess money’s the biggest thing. I knew I’d never make a lot of it, that’s okay. But I need to at least survive, and I can’t with this job, not on my own.

I really want to work more on art. To do more with my days. To do more things, see more people, accept more challenges. But how long will my motivation last this time? Will it last til tomorrow.

I need to buy new shoes for work and for the gym….that’s at least $100 right there. Cause I need to buy good shoes. I’m at home right now, 7pm on a Sat nigt because my feet hurt, my head hurts, hell, my whole body hurts. All I want to do is stay in my pjs, work on my art, and stop hurting.

Another reason I want a job, it will force me to be more productive with my time. Instead of wasting days, I will at least make some money.

Okay, I’m done now. I’m watching DejaVu with Denzel Washington in it. I’ve soaked my feet and mom my feed me (one good thing about living at home). On the next commercial break I’m going to go get my inspiration book and add a few more pages. Or maybe I’ll plan some of the Japan trip. I also have a travel journal, maybe I can work on that.

I have things to work for and to look forward to. Sometimes, for whatever reason, I forget, or am overwhelmed with the negative of life. Usually, I just sleep. Then the next time I wake up, I notice something positive.

Things I have been thankful for since Wed:

*my family*snow*postcards*my art magazine that comes in the mail*puppies*my very comfy bed*the fireplace*hot showers*friendship*coffee (that one was important the last few days, so it’s mentioned twice)*nice cats*helpful coworkers*time well spent*a full nights slept, without waking up*the smell of a Christmas tree*time to paint my nails, any color I want*my new makeup*possiblities*Japan trip*

I think that’s enough. Sorry for the long post….if you made it this far, I’m impressed since I didn’t really make this readable. It’s just a train of thought.

Choo-Choo!

Bad Euthanasia November 17, 2009

I know I usually put up pictures that I take, but I really like this one and I needed a smile. I’m feeling pretty beat up right now.

Work started out alright. Rockette, the kitten I’ve currently taken under my wing at work, is doing much better, although he leg is officially broken and we need to splint it. Poor girl, but the bite wounds are healing up pretty well. During my lunch I held her in my lap while I read. Ever once in a while I would be overcome with cuteness and ‘bonk’ her nose. Sound effect included of course. Well I closed my eyes because I was tired and suddenly I feel a quick little fuzzy ‘bonk’ on my nose. I open my eyes and look down at Rockette, she’s got her paw in the air looking at me with the unmistakeable gleam of mischief. It pretty much made my day. She continued to do that whenever I closed my eyes for more then a few moments.

Well after lunch it just went downhill from there. The worst part was a euthanasia we had. First of all the owners were kind of mean, but I can understand that because it really is a rough thing to go through. Well, normally they go very quickly and quietly. Not this little guy. No No. For some reason the anesthetic didn’t go all the way in his vain and he started flipping out. Not cause it was painful, he didn’t feel a thing, more like he was a confused drunk.

So he was thrashing and yelping this high pitched awful yelp like we were stabbing him. Once again…HE FELT NO PAIN….he was just scared. So the Dr. ran out to get more anesthetic and I’m in the room with the hystarical dog, who is evem more hystarical because the owner is sobbing and yelling at me “He’s in pain! Do something! Oh My God!’….so on and so forth. Well, after was seems like forever, the Dr comes back in and gives him the second dose of anesthesia and the dog goes really quickly and quietly.

As soon as I could I walked outta that room and burst into tears, I could not help it. Because even though I knew that dog was not in pain, he sounded like it, and it sounded awful. And then right when I got control, someone would come up and ask if I was okay, which would start me crying again. Of course I’m not okay!

So that was really awful. And I feel lonely and beat up and just kinda down. I’m drinking some wine and just waiting for a decent time to go to bed. One more day. I know everyday matters, but I hope tomorrow goes quickly. I need to get outta that place for a while.